This post came about when I put together two comments that I received from participants in two different workshops I ran recently. One held this year and the other last year. Both comments came after being observed working with a participant. One said (roughly translated): “It’s not only WHAT you do, but also what you DON’T do with a person” that helps a person heal. The other (a therapist) said “you don’t do much.”

These were both interesting and very accurate comments, and the wording was exquisite. It’s something only an observer, watching me work with a client, can give.

So it got me thinking, how my work has evolved over the years. And the general pattern has been; doing less and less, and getting better and better results.

How is this possible?

The more I have worked and the more personal sessions I have received, has allowed a natural development to unfold – the ability to be more and more present with a clients process. I think less, stay present more, and connect deeper with the client. At this deeper level, you don’t have to do much,  because the present embodied moment takes centre stage, and the therapist becomes a gentle guide who is able to allow more to happen without interfering.

The client’s body deep down knows what it needs to release to heal. The therapist’s role is to create the safe ongoing space which will allow this deeper part to release naturally.

The more present, centered and grounded a therapist is, the more safer the client feels subconsciously to open up naturally.

I have heard it many times from clients, especially new ones who have never met me before, come in, sit down and surprise themselves as to how much they open up so quickly. This happens naturally and the healing speeds up because the subconscious body of the client is quietly saying ‘yes’ to the feel of the room and the relationship.

Your subconscious feeling body picks up signals and the truth, way before your intellect ‘gets it’ with reason. In fact you can say that all true reason that you think you are creating with your intellect, is really the reasoning of your subconscious that you are just putting words to. This ‘feeling’ is the real you, the much better guide for your life.

Learn to follow this feeling all the time, whenever you can. And more importantly learn to know when you have switched it off and your intellect is trying to do it for you, by itself. The latter, is a very hard and frustrating way to live.

In Body Psychotherapy work we work with the body process in a very deep way. This deep way is actually a deeper state of being. You could call it a subconscious state of presence and mind. The therapist cannot help the client in this space unless they are there in that state at the same time.

A client cannot be in his or her body working through an old pattern while the therapist is working and operating from their head. For real results, this cannot work effectively, the client will know, sense when the therapist is not there with them, and then likely pull back themselves.

I notice this very easily and instantly when I work with pets. Cats and dogs mostly. (Yes, body psychotherapy work can be used on cats and dogs for anxieties!) If I am present in my body – placing a hand on for example, a dog, and working with them, the dog senses the contact instantly, and if I am present enough, normally allows it. In fact often they want more and let themselves go. They enter that presence state and let my fingers/hands guide them through their stress.

If I am not in that state deep enough, the dog will instantly feel it and pull back. They know what is real contact and fake shallow head stuff contact. You can’t fool an animal.

This ties into the old saying – ‘you cannot take someone where you yourself have not been.’ (Something like that.) If the therapist has not been to that deep place themselves, there is no way the subconscious body of the client (or animal) will go there. No matter how much the client wills it with their thinking and head.

Imagine feeling a feeling or an emotion that feels painful and you decide – ‘Oh! I don’t like this feeling.’ And you quickly close it down to not feel it. ‘Oh! that doesn’t feel good, I don’t want to feel that!’ So you suppress it or deny it, or distract yourself with something else quickly (a smoke, alcohol, food, drugs, TV, work etc.)

By that very action you have now just limited yourself, imprisoned yourself behind a wall or iron bars. A prison that now has you living less fully than who you really are.

But what if you had a safe place to go to where you could actually go through that painful feeling, release it, complete it, and do it in many cases quite quickly. I have observed many times in sessions, people/clients face and go through, a past scary feeling and then afterwards feel ‘Was that it? What was I afraid of all these years!’ (A result of the intellect making it out to be much BIGGER than it actually was.)

Sometimes this release is up and out in a few minutes. Sometimes seconds! Then it’s over. That old wall you built to protect yourself is not required anymore.

Freedom!

I know this feeling very well. Having gone through this process many times myself. The freedom is physical, a lightness, and mental, peace of mind (nice peaceful blank head space, on-going everyday.) It’s even emotional – fewer dramas with people as there are fewer reactions.

So whenever you feel you have to keep holding on, hiding, protecting yourself. Know that there are now options to help you release this fully. Some of your walls can be cleared in one session, some need more time. But they CAN be cleared. I did it. And many of my clients have done it and are still doing it.